For as long as I can remember, Sunday lunches have been a big deal.  As a little girl, I can remember hearing my mom clanging pots and pans in the kitchen early on Sunday mornings, preparing ahead of time for the feast that we would enjoy together as a family after church.  I’ve tried to continue the tradition in our home to some degree, although my menu selection is typically pretty predictable:  pot roast, or some other overcooked meat in the crock pot, plus several sides and a dessert.

While the meal is important, of course, the greater purpose of Sunday lunch through the years has been spending time with family.  But here lately, there have been more empty seats at our Sunday lunch table than occupied.  Today was no exception.  My husband was out of town on business.  Our children were all either out of town or doing their own thing.  So the smaller-than-usual pot roast and I sat down for a lonely lunch.

This is just one of many changes during this new season of life for me.  I can’t decide whether the emotions of loneliness and grief are more related to empty nest syndrome, mid-life crisis, some combination of the two, or just the fact that I’m not needed as much as I once was.  All I know for sure is that things have changed drastically in many ways, and yet–as I ponder it all more carefully, I realize the most important thing has not changed at all, and it never will:  It’s not about me; it’s not about you; it’s all about Jesus.

While I can’t go back and change my own past, I pray God will use these reflections to help someone else on their own faith journey.  The Spirit has certainly strengthened and refocused my heart through this time of thoughtful meditation on His Word.  May He do the same for you.  Here we go:

If I could go back and talk with my teen-aged self  I would love to share truth from this side of the “hill.”  There are so many things I know now that I wish I had known then!  It truly doesn’t matter what other people think of you, as long as you’re representing Jesus well.  I’d tell my teen-aged self to let go of the perceived need to excel and please others, and instead focus more fully on humbly serving Christ and allowing Him to live in and through me.

Teenager, it’s not about you.

It’s not about what others think about you.

It’s all about Jesus; seek Him above all others.

If I could talk to my young adult self, I’d point out the transience of this important season.  We make decisions as young adults which set the course for our future in many ways, and yet rarely do we find ourselves still attached later in life to the people and places that seemed critically important to us in that season.  Rather than concerning myself to the point of all-consumption with where to go to school, what to study, how to be successful in my career, I’d encourage deeper and more personal relationship with the One Who sees the beginning, the end and all points in between.

Young adult, it’s not about you.

It’s not about your plans, education, and career.

It’s all about Jesus.

If I could talk to my young wife and mother self, I’d fill her young ears full!  As a young wife and mother, I allowed the weight of the responsibility of the young lives my husband and I were entrusted to help shape to control far more of myself than it should have.  Oh, how I wish I had clung even more tightly to the only one who’s truly able to shape other lives to be like Jesus.  I wish I had spent more time talking with the Lord about my family than to my family about the Lord.  I’d also give my younger self a big hug, and remind her that God’s grace is sufficient.  His mercy and grace cover a multitude of sins and mistakes.  We are simply called to walk by faith.

Young spouse and/or parent, it’s not about you.

It’s not about how well you teach and model the gospel life.

It’s all about Jesus.

And here I sit, transitioning into yet another new season of life, wondering what the future holds.  What’s a parent to do now that the children are competent adults?  What’s a minister to do when the ministries which once bustled with busyness are no longer calling for your input?  What’s a worker to do when the tasks of the day have either been reassigned or no longer exist?  I believe the answer is the same:

Older self, it’s not about you.

It’s not about your plans; it’s not about your need for relevance.

It’s all about Jesus.

“But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.  For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him.”  Philippians 3:7-9

“Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”  Matthew 6:33

 

By the way, just as I finished setting the table for Sunday lunch today, I received a text from one of the children asking “What’s for lunch?  Am I too late?  Have I missed it?”  The lonely pot roast and I ended up having company after all, and the Lord graciously reminded me that He’s not finished with me, even when the plans and conversations come as a surprise to me.