For as long as I can remember, football has been an integral part of my existence, which seems strange in retrospect for someone who grew up in a household with two sisters, a mom, and a dad.  My dad was able to get us all playing softball, but none of us girls ever suited up for a game on the gridiron.  We did go to high school games every Friday night in the fall, and we watched college games on Saturdays.  We even tried to get into the NFL, but Sunday church activities typically interfered with those.  Maybe the football phenomenon is somehow tied to being a southerner, I’m not sure.  I just know that I love the excitement of football season, and the extra energy and focus it brings to my life each fall.

It should come as no surprise, I suppose, that the Lord has spoken profound parenting truth to my heart with a football analogy.  My husband and I are in the parenting stage many refer to as “empty nest,” but it’s so much more than that.  I mean, what parent with any love and compassion for their children truly kicks them out of the house and says, “Fly, freebird, fly!  You’re all on your own now!  See ya when we see ya!”  The transition is not that simple, nor is it that hard.  Our roles as parents have most definitely changed, but we are still our adult children’s parents.  We love them now as much as ever.  In this age of helicopter parenting (or is it now lawnmower parenting?) we can be equally tempted to continue making decisions for our adult children which are rightfully their own decisions to make.  So where’s the balance?

This is where football is helpful to me.  For the first 17 or 18 years of their lives, we parents have truly been on the field with them . . . with decreasing playing time as we all age, but still responsible players in the game.  In infancy, our budding all stars relied on us for literally everything:  nourishment, excretory system assistance, onesie zip-ups, mobility training . . . literally everything.  But from the beginning, our role as parents has been to train them in appropriate self-sufficiencies, right?

• “Look, he’s holding the bottle by himself!”
• “Good job using the potty!  Let’s get an M & M!”
• “Do you want to wear this outfit to school tomorrow or this one?”
• “Son, every time you drive it’s important for your eyes to look in the direction the vehicle is moving. (Lord, please don’t let us die as he’s learning to drive!)“

When our little ones grow into adults and we’ve done our best to equip them well, the time comes for us to get off the field and let them play the game on their own.  Our role is no longer to throw passes to them or tackle their opponents for them.  We move off the field to serve as assistant coaches, and we support them as needed from the sideline.  We don’t move all the way to the stands as arbitrary fans that simply cheer them on, although people in that role are incredibly important.  As parents, we’re a bit closer to the action than that.  If they get hurt or find themselves in serious crisis, we are close enough to help.  They need to know we’re always here for them.  If they need help with a play call, we’re available for consultation.  But they are now the ones on the field, not us.  We do our adult children a tremendous disservice when we fail to trust them enough to live their own lives.

Those of us who seek to honor Jesus as we parent also do a disservice to their growth in Him when we overstep our boundaries.  As our adult children play the game of life more independant from us, they have the opportunity to experience the love and grace of the Lord more personally and intimately.  Will they make mistakes and fail at times?  Absolutely.  Will the God who loves them even more than we know how to love meet them where they are and provide everything they need for redemption from their mistakes?  Absolutely.  Do we, as their parents, truly believe and have faith that God will do what He has said and lead us faithfully through this transitional season?  I think that may be at the heart of the issue; it is for me, at least.  In days when we’re tempted to run out on the field, we must speak words of truth and faith to ourselves rather than doubt and worry.

“And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you

will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.” 

Philippians 1:6

You may have noticed earlier that I referred to us parents as assistant coaches.  Throughout the years of parenting, we have never truly been the ones in charge.  Our children have been loaned to us for a season to rear, to train “in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” who is the great head coach.  As we parent in every season, may we always encourage them to follow the instructions of their Creator, Redeemer, Sustainer, and never-failing Friend.  His plans and provision for their lives are guaranteed to lead to victory.

“O for grace to trust Him more.”

 

 

Today marks one week since the end of Animate 2019, a summer worship arts experience for teens and their adult mentors on the campus of Samford University. Preparing for Animate is a year-round effort for those of us who work in the Center for Worship of the Arts, so finally seeing it all come to life—literally become animated—was, understandably, a mountaintop spiritual experience. We prayed and worked and worked and prayed and thought and prayed and planned and worked and prayed and prayed and prayed some more; then we experienced the awesome grandeur of God’s incredible blessing of our feeble human efforts as the Holy Spirit infused the events of the week with blessing upon blessing upon blessing.

Maybe you’ve had a similar experience, whether as a leader or participant. For you maybe it was a mission trip or a choir tour, or maybe a vacation or other beautifully blessed family event. I’d be willing to bet that you know what it’s like to experience an extraordinary outpouring of God’s power and loving-kindness during a unique season of life.

And then it’s over. Suddenly the season during which your soul soared to new heights is over, and you’re back to your mundane, everyday, regular ol’ life. We’re told in Hebrews 13:8 that “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever,” so what has changed?

The theme for Animate 2019 was Rooted, taken from Colossians 2:6-7. “So live in Christ Jesus the Lord in the same way as you received him. Be rooted and built up in him, be established in faith, and overflow with thanksgiving just as you were taught.” Could the secret to having continual closeness with the Father, never-ending mountain-top views, be as simple as remaining rooted in Christ and growing in Him by the power of the Holy Spirit? If so, then what does that look like during the regular, less eventful seasons of our lives?

“So live in Christ Jesus the Lord in the same way as you received him…”

What was it about the “mountaintop experience” that helped you live in the power and presence of Christ Jesus? For us during Animate, it was daily worship, consistent reading of scripture, singing praises to the Lord, reflecting with other believers about the things God was teaching us, and using our gifts and talents to help others worship God, too. During other less structured seasons of spiritual highs, perhaps the catalyst was simply slowing down and recognizing the power of God at work around you. “Be still and know that I am God.” What is keeping us from continuing to live in Christ Jesus in these same ways? _________________________________? “So live in Christ Jesus the Lord in the same way as you received him…”

“Be rooted and built up in him, be established in faith…”

In the Parable of the Sower in Matthew 13, the seed fell in various places, but only the seed which fell on good soil remained rooted and produced a crop. God alone can make our soil good and able to produce lasting fruit, and that only through faith in the finished work of Jesus Christ on our behalf. As we confess our sins and trust the perfect sacrifice of Jesus, God is “faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us of all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9) Jesus is the key to deep rootedness and continuing growth as believers. It’s easy to become distracted by the bright, shiny glitz of short-term energetic spiritual events, and think those are the only times we experience God at work in our lives. The better way is for these short-term experiences to serve as exclamation points throughout the narrative of our spiritual lives. The secret of successful everyday saints is a consistent, daily walk with the Lord. “Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself, it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.” (John 15:4) Daily communion with God through prayer and Bible reading is key to being truly deeply “rooted and built up in him,” and “established in faith.”

“…overflow with thanksgiving, just as you were taught.”

Maybe it’s just me, but thanksgiving just doesn’t come easily. Even when I’m walking daily with the Lord, the temptations abound to look around and see the problems and challenges of this world instead of the blessings. When my children were younger and sometimes prone to complaining, I remember telling them to “train your brain” to see the good. The older I get, the more I realize I need to take my own advice! God’s good gifts are all around us. As we pause to acknowledge and give thanks for them, we realize that no problem or challenge we face is greater than the God we serve.   So let’s intentionally “…overflow with thanksgiving, just as [we] were taught.”

 

I am weak but Thou art strong

Jesus, keep my from all wrong;

I’ll be satisfied as long

As I walk, let me walk close to Thee.

 

Just a closer walk with Thee;

Grant it, Jesus, is my plea;

Daily walking close to Thee,

Let it be, dear Lord, let it be.

 

-Anonymous

 

*Communion tablecloth artwork created by Dr. Maria Fee.

 

On this Holy Saturday, I can’t help but think of Jesus’ disciples, family, and close friends who had such love for and faith in Him.  They had seen Him perform miracle after miracle, and now He’s dead.  Surely they had prayed fervently for His deliverance as He suffered at the hands of the Roman soldiers.  No doubt they had pleaded with God to save Jesus as He hung tortured on the cross.  They heard the taunts of “He’s saved others, now let Him save Himself!” and in their hearts I imagine they must have agreed.   And yet, He died.  How devastated, confused, and completely grief stricken they must have been!

Even though we know the end of the crucifixion story, we too experience unexpected deaths–sometimes literally when someone we love dearly is diagnosed with cancer or some other incurable illness.  We’ve seen through eyes of faith the many miracles and healings of Jesus, so we cry out fervently to the Great Physician believing in His power to heal.  And yet, they die.

Or maybe the unexpected death is that of a hope or dream.  We find ourselves in what seems to be a near perfect scenario, one that honors God and fulfills deep desires within us.  We commit our lives fully to living for God’s glory in this relationship or calling, then suddenly, it’s over.  The dream is dead.

We, like those close to Jesus at the time of His death, find ourselves devastated, confused, and grief stricken.  We are often unsure what even to do next.  May we remember, as our brothers and sisters of old discovered, resurrection day is coming.

In the crushing, in the pressing, You are making new wine.

In the soil I now surrender; You are breaking new ground.

So I yield to You and to Your careful hand;

When I trust You I don’t need to understand.

Make me Your vessel.

Make me an offering.

Make me whatever You want me to be.

I came here with nothing, but all you have given me.

Jesus, bring new wine out of me.  (New Wine, by Hillsong Worship)

 

 

 

 

Observing Lent was not a part of my upbringing at First Baptist Church, Greenville, Alabama. As a result, I’m not very well-versed on what’s appropriate or inappropriate for a Lenten fast, which actually works to my advantage sometimes.  Like this year, for example.  This year I’ve really sensed the Lord leading me to do something that I’m pretty sure is not a normal Lenten fast thing to do.  Still, though, it’s something I need to do, and something I should have done long ago.  This year for Lent I’m trying really, really hard to give up my adult children.

As sweet as they are, giving up my children is not the same as doing without chocolate or Dr. Pepper for forty days. It’s much deeper and more difficult, at least it is for me. Giving up my children means letting go of my own pride and sense of self-sufficiency. It’s a true test of trust in the One Who has never ever failed me and will never ever fail my children. It requires faith, belief in that which has been promised but is, as of yet, still unseen.

And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.  Philippians 1:6

What happens to our adult children when we truly stop our attempts to control them and, instead, trust our sovereign, loving God to guide their way? Four things come to mind right away:

1. At times, they will Fail. Yes, our adult children will make mistakes, just as we did when we left the comforts of our parents’ homes. Technology allows parents to remain connected longer and stronger than in the past, but we must agree to cut the cord. As our children make their own mistakes, they’ll learn from them and be stronger for having dealt with the consequences of poor choices on their own.
2. We must allow them to Live. While our children have been and remain important parts of our family units, their lives are not ours to live. In fact, their lives are for them to live as they choose with us parents cheering them on from the sidelines. We hope they will “seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness,” but even if they don’t, we can trust that the One who created the stars and put them into space can and will not allow our children to fall outside of His Sovereign care.
3. As our adult kiddos endure failures and live their own lives (without us suffocating parental types,) those who know the Truth will begin to Yearn for the Lord God Himself more and more. Part of our new job as sideline cheerleaders for our adult kids is to pray, pray, pray and trust, trust, trust. They’ll learn from their own experience that God’s ways are best, and that His love for them is perfect in every way.
4. When we free adult children to make mistakes and decisions on their own without added guilt or unsolicited judgment from us; and as they begin to yearn for the Lord and seek Him more and more, we may need to move from the sidelines to box seats. Our adult children, by God’s grace, will begin to FLY!

So, that’s all well and good for our adult children. All’s well that ends well, right? But what about us? What happens to us as the nest empties?

• We’ll cry. After all, we’ve known them in most cases from birth. We’ve taught them how to function well in polite, adult society—or at least we’ve tried. We’ve taught them right from wrong—or at least we’ve tried. We’ve taught them to “love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength”—or at least we’ve tried. Separation from the way of life that once, not so long ago, was is painful and difficult, so it’s okay to cry.
• We’ll cry. As we turn them loose to live life the way they feel led to live it, they’ll make mistakes, some costly and painful, and we’ll cry with them. As believers we’re called to “mourn with those who mourn,” even when they’re our own children.  We aren’t called to scold, chastise, or judge. But it’s okay to cry with them. In fact, it’s biblical to cry with them, just as we would with any other adult friend in time of need. There will be many victories to celebrate with them along the way, but when failures and heartbreak come, we can and should cry with them.
• We’ll cry. “I have no greater joy than to know my children are walking in the truth.” God will continue to work in the hearts and minds of our adult children, especially as we grant them freedom to live outside of our old parental guidelines and expectations. The new trails God has for them are more beautiful than we can even imagine! As our adult children scale to new heights with their Heavenly Father, we will celebrate with tears of joy!

Giving my adult children up to the care of the Lord is proving to be more difficult than I had anticipated. “Mother knows best” is a nice saying, but it just ain’t true, y’all! The One Who created them has a plan for each of their lives that I do not have the eyes to see. The One Who puts breath in their lungs each day promises to heal their hurts and bind their broken hearts. My Band Aids and Neosporin barely touch the surface.  The One Who shared them with me for a season of intentional nurturing and care somehow loves them more than I even know how to love.

In this season of “letting go,” Gracious God, forgive my lack of faith. Forgive my prideful, self-sufficiency. Show me how to honor you in this changing season of parenting. Grant me strength to love and trust enough to let them go.  Give me wisdom to know when and how to continue to be available and supportive for their good and for your glory.

“Now to him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy— to the only God our Savior be glory, majesty, power and authority, through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forevermore! Amen.” (Jude 1:24-25)  

 

 

As much as I love Christmas, the time has come to begin cleaning up the decorations.  Now I realize many Christian traditions continue the celebration much longer, but in our home growing up the saying was “if the tree and decorations aren’t put away by New Year’s Day, you’ll have bad luck in the New Year!”  Whether a ploy to motivate us to help with the clean-up or a genuine tradition of some sort, my mama’s timeline has stuck with me and the clean-up in our home has officially begun.
The first step in the clean-up process was moving the Advent wreath and candles from the dining table to a smaller, more out-of-the-way table in a different room.  Even away from its normal holiday home, I haven’t been able to resist lighting the candles a few more times.  There’s just something special about the candlelight and all that it represents.  I pray God will continue to remind me in the year ahead of the lessons He’s spoken to my heart this Advent and Christmas season.  The Bible has so much to say about light and darkness, and Jesus is right in the middle of it all . . .

“The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of the shadow of death a light has dawned.”  Isaiah 9:2

     Jesus is the light of the world, and His light is always enough.  In this world there is still much darkness and confusion, so we must stick close to the Lord and follow Jesus very closely.  Regular prayer, Bible study, worship, and fellowship with other believers are so important to remaining close to the Lord.  Despite the darkness all around, we will not be overcome as we seek Jesus and follow obediently one step at a time.

“Jesus spoke to them saying, ‘I am the light of the world.  He who follows me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of life.'”  John 8:12

“The light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it.”      John 1:5

     The longer and more closely we walk with Jesus, the clearer the path becomes.  Praise God, a day is coming when all darkness will be dispelled, and we will live in the full light of God’s eternal Glory!

“The path of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn, shining ever brighter until the full light of day.”  Proverbs 4:18

“There will be no more night.  They will not need the light of a lamp or the light of the sun, for the Lord God will give them light.  And they will reign forever and ever.”  Revelation 22:5

     Until that day, Lord, help us walk faithfully in Thy perfect light.  From the beginning of time when you said, “Let there be light” you have been illuminating creation and overcoming darkness.  Darkness is the absence of light, and we don’t want to attempt to journey through this dark world without You.  Without your Light, we stumble, fall, and lose our way.  Empower us to follow Thy Word, for we know that it is a lamp for our feet and a light for our path.

Teach us how to be in the world, but not of it, for “what fellowship can light have with darkness?”  You’ve said we shouldn’t be “yoked together with unbelievers” but should instead “come out from them and be separate.”  At the same time your Word instructs us to “love one another.”  Grant, O Lord, understanding, wisdom, and courage to live as you would have us to live.

“Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates his brother is still in the darkness.  Whosoever loves his brother lives in light and there is nothing in him to make him stumble.”  1 John 2:9-10

“Do not love the world or anything in the world.  If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.”  1 John 2:15

     The lines are so easily blurred for us, Lord.  We desperately need You to light our way.  Lead us, guide us, and help us walk always in the light of Thy perfect love.

“If we walk in the light as he is the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.”  1 John 1:7

     With faith in Jesus and the help of His Holy Spirit, our desire is to walk in the light in the New Year and beyond for the glory of God the Father.  Amen.

 

 

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

All the king’s horses and all the king’s men

couldn’t put Humpty together again.

We all fall.  We are all broken.  Like Humpty Dumpty, the best efforts of even the most exceptional people cannot put us back together again.  Only the God who created us in the first place can rightly restore broken creation.

The beautiful reality is that God longs to repair the brokenness in each one of us.  So why do we turn so quickly to substitute, inadequate options?

We look to relationships with other people to meet needs only God can meet.

We invest more time and energy into school, work, and family than into growing “in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.”

We covet material possessions far more than eternal investments.

We fill our hearts and minds with music, shows, and movies that glorify and gratify the flesh instead of setting our hearts and minds on things above.

We worry and fear instead of holding tightly to the promises God gives clearly in scripture.

We ultimately choose so often to trust ourselves more than we trust God.

Father, forgive us.

Jesus, redeem us.

Spirit, lead us.

God, make us new again, for our good and your glory.

“He heals the brokenhearted
    and binds up their wounds.”  (Psalm 147:3)

^“For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”  (Romans 6:23)

^“And he who was seated on the throne said, ‘Behold, I am making all things new.’ Also he said, ‘Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.'”  (Revelation 21:5)

 

“Of your love there is no doubt, of your mercies I am sure;

Jesus knows my need and for me intercedes

All my hope is Christ.”

There’s good to be found in every day, but some days are just more clearly full of good than others.  Yesterday was one of those days for me.  I had the pleasure of worshiping in multiple services with brothers and sisters across denominational lines, and yet the primary message from the Lord to my heart was the same in every one:  All is vain without Jesus; all is well with Jesus.

“Brethren, we have met to worship, and adore the Lord our God;

Will you pray with all your power, while we try to preach the Word?

All is vain unless the Spirit of the Holy One comes down;

Brethren, pray and holy manna will be showered all around.”

Pray, we did and shower He did.  It’s amazing how that works!  Without the presence of the Holy One, our worship and indeed all of our efforts are in vain.  With God’s presence, we have everything we need…and then some.

Just ask Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego.  There are so many lessons to be learned from the retelling of their experience in the fiery furnace all those years ago.  (Daniel 3)  The greatest lesson, however, is that we are all weak and in need of rescue, and God Himself provides a rescuer in the form of Jesus Christ.  Jesus surrendered His life to the fire of our sin so that He could rescue and redeem us.

If ever we are tempted to place our total confidence in people, our own good deeds, or other things, we need to remember that Jesus is the only One in whom we should have complete and total confidence.  He is a High Priest unlike any other.  Unlike the Levitical priests whose sacrifices had to be repeated over and over and over, Jesus now sits at the right hand of God because His sacrifice was complete.  (Hebrews 8:1-9:10)

The central message from yesterday?  Whenever people disappoint us or we allow fears and doubts to enter our hearts and minds, we simply need to pause, pray, and remember the beautiful gift of the Rose of Sharon, Jesus Christ Himself, given for all who put their trust in Him.

“When I am weak, I lift up my eyes to see my Savior plead for me;

When fear closes in and doubt sows a seed, I know my Savior pleads for me.

Of your love there is no doubt, of your mercies I am sure;

Jesus knows my need and for me intercedes

All my hope is Christ.

 

When sin rises up, I fall to my knees to see my Savior plead for me;

Storms may rage on, but this is my peace: I know my Savior pleads for me.

Of your love there is no doubt, of your mercies I am sure;

Jesus knows my need and for me intercedes

All my hope is Christ.”

 

For as long as I can remember, Sunday lunches have been a big deal.  As a little girl, I can remember hearing my mom clanging pots and pans in the kitchen early on Sunday mornings, preparing ahead of time for the feast that we would enjoy together as a family after church.  I’ve tried to continue the tradition in our home to some degree, although my menu selection is typically pretty predictable:  pot roast, or some other overcooked meat in the crock pot, plus several sides and a dessert.

While the meal is important, of course, the greater purpose of Sunday lunch through the years has been spending time with family.  But here lately, there have been more empty seats at our Sunday lunch table than occupied.  Today was no exception.  My husband was out of town on business.  Our children were all either out of town or doing their own thing.  So the smaller-than-usual pot roast and I sat down for a lonely lunch.

This is just one of many changes during this new season of life for me.  I can’t decide whether the emotions of loneliness and grief are more related to empty nest syndrome, mid-life crisis, some combination of the two, or just the fact that I’m not needed as much as I once was.  All I know for sure is that things have changed drastically in many ways, and yet–as I ponder it all more carefully, I realize the most important thing has not changed at all, and it never will:  It’s not about me; it’s not about you; it’s all about Jesus.

While I can’t go back and change my own past, I pray God will use these reflections to help someone else on their own faith journey.  The Spirit has certainly strengthened and refocused my heart through this time of thoughtful meditation on His Word.  May He do the same for you.  Here we go:

If I could go back and talk with my teen-aged self  I would love to share truth from this side of the “hill.”  There are so many things I know now that I wish I had known then!  It truly doesn’t matter what other people think of you, as long as you’re representing Jesus well.  I’d tell my teen-aged self to let go of the perceived need to excel and please others, and instead focus more fully on humbly serving Christ and allowing Him to live in and through me.

Teenager, it’s not about you.

It’s not about what others think about you.

It’s all about Jesus; seek Him above all others.

If I could talk to my young adult self, I’d point out the transience of this important season.  We make decisions as young adults which set the course for our future in many ways, and yet rarely do we find ourselves still attached later in life to the people and places that seemed critically important to us in that season.  Rather than concerning myself to the point of all-consumption with where to go to school, what to study, how to be successful in my career, I’d encourage deeper and more personal relationship with the One Who sees the beginning, the end and all points in between.

Young adult, it’s not about you.

It’s not about your plans, education, and career.

It’s all about Jesus.

If I could talk to my young wife and mother self, I’d fill her young ears full!  As a young wife and mother, I allowed the weight of the responsibility of the young lives my husband and I were entrusted to help shape to control far more of myself than it should have.  Oh, how I wish I had clung even more tightly to the only one who’s truly able to shape other lives to be like Jesus.  I wish I had spent more time talking with the Lord about my family than to my family about the Lord.  I’d also give my younger self a big hug, and remind her that God’s grace is sufficient.  His mercy and grace cover a multitude of sins and mistakes.  We are simply called to walk by faith.

Young spouse and/or parent, it’s not about you.

It’s not about how well you teach and model the gospel life.

It’s all about Jesus.

And here I sit, transitioning into yet another new season of life, wondering what the future holds.  What’s a parent to do now that the children are competent adults?  What’s a minister to do when the ministries which once bustled with busyness are no longer calling for your input?  What’s a worker to do when the tasks of the day have either been reassigned or no longer exist?  I believe the answer is the same:

Older self, it’s not about you.

It’s not about your plans; it’s not about your need for relevance.

It’s all about Jesus.

“But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.  For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him.”  Philippians 3:7-9

“Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”  Matthew 6:33

 

By the way, just as I finished setting the table for Sunday lunch today, I received a text from one of the children asking “What’s for lunch?  Am I too late?  Have I missed it?”  The lonely pot roast and I ended up having company after all, and the Lord graciously reminded me that He’s not finished with me, even when the plans and conversations come as a surprise to me.

 

 

It’s begun to dawn on me that life as I knew it for almost a quarter century is over.

When Tom and I learned we were expecting a baby way back in 1993, we were both working full-time, advancing well in our careers. As recent communication graduates of the University of Alabama (WAR EAGLE!!! –long story for another post…) we had already received awards and recognition for work in our chosen field, with dreams of continuing success.

We were young and naïve in many ways, I suppose, but as we began considering daycare options for our soon-to-be new addition, neither of us could find peace. Instead, we sensed God clearly leading us to seek ways the two of us could be the primary caregivers for the new life the Creator had entrusted to our family. “Where there’s a will, there’s a way,” the saying goes, and when you add God’s guidance and blessing to the mix, the results are “abundantly more than we can even ask or think.” (Ephesians 3:20)

Eventually, we sold our two new cars, opting instead for one smaller used vehicle. We did the cloth diaper thing and made homemade baby food—both concepts that sound so strange now, but seemed perfectly reasonable to us then!   Tom continued to “climb the corporate ladder,” and I picked up part-time jobs that could be done either at home, with the kids, or (later) during their school hours. And God supplied our every need.

Babies two and three followed in the years to come, and the conviction to rear them the best we could “in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” grew stronger and stronger. Even with the intentionality we brought to parenting, we made so many mistakes along the way, more than I care to number! Our children, like all human beings, are also far from perfect.   Somehow, though, and for some reason, God has chosen to bless our family . . .

. . . but not in ways the world always recognizes. I was reminded of that yesterday as our oldest and I drove through a beautiful neighborhood near our home. We admired the gorgeous homes, neatly manicured lawns, and wondered at the seven-car garage one home featured. (SEVEN-CAR GARAGE, Y’ALL!) As I drove our 11-year-old car back into the driveway of our modest older home (in need of much repair,) I felt more than a tinge of regret and envy. I was flat out jealous, to be completely honest, and I began to wonder what other people our age must think of us.

Then I looked at my son. I thought of our other son and our daughter, and the love they all have for the Lord and for each other. The Holy Spirit gently reminded me that THIS is the amazing home He has built for us through years. It’s a home no amount of money can buy. It’s a home we don’t deserve. It’s a home that will last for all eternity.

My purpose in writing this is NOT to say that everyone’s journey should be the same as ours! This is clearly the path God called US to follow, and God leads each family in the way they can best honor Him. There are plenty of wonderful Christian parents out there who honor the Lord and lead their family well while both working full-time. Maybe one of them even lives in that seven-car garage house!

My purpose in writing this is to encourage all who read to “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path. “ (Proverbs 3:5-6) Even if the way doesn’t make financial or societal sense, God can be trusted. Follow wherever He leads, and trust His perfect provision.

Life as I knew it for nearly half my total years is now over. It was a joyous, exhausting, exhilarating, expensive, stressful 24 years…and I loved every minute of it. Now that the dust has settled, I’m here to endorse the contractor. God is a merciful master builder, and I’m thankful for the beautiful home He has built for our family . . . even if three of our cars have to be parked on the street when everyone is homeJ

“Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain.” Psalm 127:1

^“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11

 

 

Losing someone we love is always painful regardless of how the loss occurs.  Sometimes relationships lose their intimacy due to distance; one person moves too far away for regular visits.  Sometimes a job change causes you to lose regular contact with people you care about.  Sometimes the nature of a relationship changes, such as when one or both parts of a couple decide it’s time to break up.  Sometimes death ends earthly relationships with those we love.  All of these relationship losses are difficult.  After half a century of life and various types of loss, I recently experienced a loss that’s greater than death.  I don’t mean “greater” in the sense of the value of the relationship, but rather in the sense of method of loss.  Let me try to explain.

When distance comes between two people in a relationship, the friendship usually remains to some degree, just with less frequent and less personal interaction.  Old friends still reconnect either by phone, social media, or even occasionally in person.  They enjoy remembering shared experiences and catching up on current life conditions.  The same is true of relationships that lose regular contact due to a job change or school transfer.  The regularity and methods of connecting may change, but the friendships remain.

The nature of relationships sometimes change, and this, too, is painful.  If one or both members decide a romantic relationship needs to end, it’s heartbreaking.  Often expectations and dreams are destroyed when a couple breaks up, and for a season there is much pain and many tears.  Slowly but surely, though–at least in my personal experience–these broken relationships heal to differing degrees of, at least, mutual acknowledgment.  While they don’t look or feel the same as before, there is still a recognition of the value of each person and the value of the relationship itself in its season.

Then there’s the loss of earthly relationships to death.  Death stinks.  Death rips apart the soul from the body, and those left behind must find healthy ways to continue living.  For those who die in Christ, the relationships will continue into eternity, but life on earth in the interim is never the same as before.

As hard as all these relationship losses are, I recently encountered for the first time a type of loss that’s more difficult and perplexing than any of these.  I wonder if anyone else has had a similar experience.  I chose to take a chance on loving a stranger as well as I know how to love–investing time, energy, money, forgiveness, familial welcome, trust–only to have this person choose to suddenly and completely disappear from my life.  One of my favorite songwriters has part of a song lyric which describes the experience perfectly:  “Without one warning you removed yourself from my life . . .”  That’s it in a nutshell; a purposeful, shocking, unexplained, complete removal of relationship and rejection of love.  What was left behind were questions such as “What just happened?” and “Why?” and “What did I do wrong?” and “How did I misjudge this person so badly?” and “What am I supposed to learn from this?”

It’s the last question about which I’m finally beginning to gain insight.  As with most hard life lessons, if I’ll just let the Lord have His way, this one could be a long-term game changer.  What I’m learning is that people will mistreat and reject us, but we must love them anyway.  During this Lenten season, I’ve been reminded of the incredible love of God for me, an unworthy sinner, expressed through the sacrificial gift of Jesus Christ.  The unconditional love of God so far exceeds my ability to love that there’s no comparison.  Yet, millions of people whom God loves choose to reject Him and do all that they can to remove Him from their lives.  How that must grieve the heart of Almighty God!  And yet He continues to love.  So, too, must we.

“Blessed are you when people hate you and when they exclude you and revile you and spurn your name as evil on account of the Son of Man.  Rejoice in that day, and leap for joy, for behold, your reward is great in heaven; for so their fathers did to the prophets.”               Luke 6:22-23

I’ve also been convicted of the fact that there are surely people in my life who feel rejected and unloved by my lack of attention to them as individuals.  God, forgive me!  Help me instead to be purposeful in loving all whose paths cross with my own.

“Therefore welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God.”  Romans 15:7

Ultimately, all loss and rejection should remind us of the One whose love we can never lose and who promises to never EVER let us go.

“For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”  Romans 8:38-39

As Jesus died on the cross, He experienced rejection far greater than anything you and I can even imagine as He took the sins of all generations upon Himself.  He willingly suffered loss because of His great love for us.  The Holy Spirit of Christ dwells within all who have put their trust in Him.  God, help us allow You full access to our hearts.  Teach and empower us to love fully, completely, and unconditionally as Jesus does.