As a seven-year-old, the pressure was exceeded only by the exhilaration of actually performing the lead role of “The Little Blue Angel” in our school’s Christmas pageant. Mom and I went to Bates turkey farm to gather the right feathers to adorn the wings of my costume. I rehearsed tirelessly to perfect the solo I’d sing from the top of the Christmas tree. In fact, I’m told I practiced so much that I even sang it in my sleep!

These are the first memories I have of being part of a Christmas music program, and they are all still so vivid and fond! In the years since second grade (and there have been just a few:-) my experiences with music at Christmas have been varied, but music for me has always been such a prominent part of the celebration of the glorious gift of Jesus Christ. Throughout high school and college, I enjoyed singing solos, duets, in trios and quartets, in ensembles and choirs, and accompanying various groups on piano. After graduation, these types of roles continued and even began to expand. From singing with the St. Andrew Sisters in A Big Band Christmas to the very humbling role of Mary the mother of Jesus in another Christmas pageant, to co-narrating Candlelight at Dawson with my husband, to working on music staff to design, conduct, and direct many worship presentations–leading in Christmas music programs has been a part of my life for many, many, many years.

But things have been very different this year. As our church’s big Christmas program drew nearer, I found myself becoming as excited as ever before, even though I knew I had no solo, no ensemble role, no speaking part, no official leadership responsibilities. In fact, having battled illness for about three weeks (including laryngitis) I went to the doctor the Monday before the program and begged him to fix me so I could sing by Friday. I couldn’t imagine not being able to sing at Christmas! I left the doctor’s office with a steroid shot and three additional prescriptions guaranteed to fix me up.

The night of our program’s dress rehearsal arrived, and I made sure to be early in order to secure a good seat in the middle of all the activity. I love to hear good tenors and basses behind me, as well as the best of the orchestra’s blend, so getting a seat in the middle of the choir loft is prime real estate for this choir nerd. When I arrived, my heart thrilled at the sight of a seating chart with the names of all those who had signed up to sing all three nights!  I had signed up the week before as an “all in” singer.  And then I saw the seat assigned to me . . . in the middle . . . of the second row . . . OF THE TRANSEPT BALCONY.

I’m at a loss for words to describe the many ways singing from the transept balcony is the absolute antithesis of everything I love about singing in a choral Christmas program. Transept singers can’t hear the rest of the choir; they—we—are basically a choir unto ourselves. Transept singers hear the section of the orchestra whose sound is most directly pointed towards them, in our case the brass section. Transept singers are unable to connect visually with the congregation, because they’re—we’re—technically singing from the congregation seats ourselves. Transept singers are often forgotten by leadership and left to our own discretion for seating and other cues. In fact at one point during the dress rehearsal this year, we were told just to “sit back and enjoy the show.”

And yet this year, I experienced the joy of singing at Christmas in ways unlike ever before.  God taught me some of the most powerful lessons I’ve ever learned from the middle of the second row of the transept balcony.

TRANSEPT BALCONY LESSON #1: Sing for Jesus always

For years I’ve known it in my head, and I hope it’s been a reality in my heart for a long time; but this year singing for Jesus became my primary reason for being a part of Candlelight at Dawson. It’s truly freeing and empowering for the Holy Spirit to “tune our hearts to sing His praise.”  Our transept balcony singing club started a saying during dress rehearsal in an attempt to encourage one another: “We’re singing for Jesus up here, because no one else can see us or hear us!”  What started as a kind of half-hearted hash tag became my genuine heart’s cry, and no doubt of other transept singers around me. “Lord, no one else may know I’m here, but You do. Help me sing with all my heart, soul, mind and strength for your glory.”

By the way, when you sing for Jesus from the transept balcony, it’s a lot like singing a full voiced solo while driving down the interstate when you know (or hope) no one’s watching. “All I want for Christmas is you…” In the transept balcony, you ARE Mariah Carey, only singin’ for Jesus!

TRANSEPT BALCONY LESSON #2: Serve others always

A precious, sweet friend who was singing in Candlelight for the first time said something so encouraging to me at the end of dress rehearsal. She said, “I know you don’t really belong up here, but I’m so thankful you’re here to help us first-timers.” And there were several first-time Candlelight singers around me in the transept balcony. Her words encouraged me to remember that we are to serve the Lord wherever we are. If He has led us to a place, then there is work for us to do there for His glory. “And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” (Colossians 3:23)  What a joy it was to experience Candlelight with so many for the very first time.  What a great gift they were to me!  I even had the unexpected blessing of singing beside my daughter for her first Candlelight as an adult participant, a memory I’ll treasure always, (or as long as my memory lasts!)

TRANSEPT BALCONY LESSON #3: Search beyond the spotlight

There’s a whole lot more world outside of the spotlight than there is in its center, and those with less prominence have so much good to offer!  At one point in the program, the choir loft singers move to the aisles to light candles and sing the final two songs, leaving us transept singers in the balconies.  One of the directors pointed upward during dress rehearsal and commented, “there’s a lot of good sound coming from up there!” And indeed there was! There were so many talented folks all around me. It was a joy to sing our siloed solos together.

There also are a lot of needs in the darkness and shadows of the transept balconies of life. There are people who may once have been in the spotlight, but now wonder if anyone even sees them at all. Some long for connection to their Creator and Redeemer, so they’ve come ever so tentatively back to His Church; they long for acceptance and purpose. Still others just want someone, anyone to notice and acknowledge their existence.

May we all be more purposeful in the future to seek out those whom others overlook, and do The Work of Christmas long after the candles and spotlights have all been extinguished.

When the song of the angels is stilled,
When the star in the sky is gone,
When the kings and princes are home,
When the shepherds are back with their flock,
The work of Christmas begins:

To find the lost,
To heal the broken,
To feed the hungry,
To release the prisoner,
To rebuild the nations,
To bring peace among brothers,
To make music from the heart.

 (Text by Howard Thurman)