“God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”      Romans 5:8

What does it mean to love as God loves?  As I consider the question, I realize I’ve been doing it all wrong in many ways. God’s love is unconditional and not at all dependent upon my behavior. While I was still a sinner, Christ died for me! God didn’t wait for me to say I was sorry and living a more righteous life before He loved me. He loved me in the most extreme way ever expressed while I was still a sinner. That’s amazing love.

My love, on the other hand, tends to flow much more freely towards those who are behaving in ways I deem appropriate. Even in the lives of those for whom my love absolutely never fades, my actions often present a love that simply affirms good behavior rather than a love that is never-ending, regardless of actions. Do people experience the love of God through me, or a world-tainted, pseudo love that depends on how their actions make me feel?

Many experiences related to parenting can be applied to the rest of life.  How to love is one example, I think.  Like most parents, I am so proud of my children when they look their best and are on their very best behavior. It’s easy to show love when I’m beaming with pride! I reflect back on Easter Sunday morning pictures by our front yard tree when the children look so good all cleaned up and wearing their new clothes. I think about times they’ve been recognized with awards at school or church, or when they’ve performed well in a musical or sporting event. It’s easy to show love when we can applaud our children’s behavior.

It’s also easy to show love to our children when we recognize that they’re hurting and they really need us.  I think of the time my oldest had his tonsils removed, the time my middle child persevered through football practice with painful foot problems, the time the doctors feared all kinds of terrible things might be causing my daughter’s back pain as a toddler….not to mention the multiple visits from the dreaded stomach bug and other life-altering, Lysol-inducing illnesses which have affected our family through the years.  While my children’s behavior during these times of recovery was often less than desirable, my love for them was usually patient and kind.  It was, for the most part,  long-suffering, and it definitely endured a whole lot of undesirable stuff.   What loving parent is going to withhold love from a sick, hurting child?

Sin is an illness that affects and hurts us all. The resulting emotional and spiritual pain often leads to undesirable actions. It’s so easy to identify bad behavior in others, but we often deal only with the symptoms instead of the true illness. Could looking beyond the surface actions be the key to having more loving, Christ-like responses to inappropriate behavior? Instead of speaking critically and judgmentally of those whose behaviors need to change, we need to remember the root cause of the problem.  It’s sin.  And we are all sinners in need of the saving grace of Jesus Christ. Perhaps our symptoms are different, but “there is none righteous, no not one.” We all need the love and forgiveness of the Lord Jesus Christ.

What if Christians chose to embrace the hurting people of the world and help tend their wounds with the salve of Jesus’ grace instead of focusing so much on their undesirable actions?  It’s a tricky balance, I realize, but surely there is a way.  Just as we would never shun a child who comes to us bloody and dirty after a physical fall, we should never shun a person created in the image of God who is yucky and dirty because of actions related to their spiritual fall.

How would we lovingly care for a physically injured child?  First and foremost, we would show compassion for him instead of either turning away or criticizing. Lord, help me to be compassionate and engaging to those around me who are living in unrepentant sin. Secondly, we would begin doing all within our power to help meet their immediate needs. Lord, help me recognize the needs of others around me and do all within my power to positively affect the healing process. Third, we would take a sick or injured child to a doctor for the medical care we are unable to provide. Lord, only You can heal a sinful heart. Use my words and actions to point others to You for complete and total healing.

God of perfect love, I want to know what love really is. I want You to show me. Teach and enable me to show true love to all whose paths divinely cross with mine.